I'm about to pack my bags for my journey. I have a real nervous feeling about going away. I thought I'd never say this, but I'm starting to feel like I don't want to go away for so long anymore. I've had so much instability lately that I really wish I had something that wasn't here today gone tomorrow. It would be much more exciting to embark on a new adventure in life, exploring a world that is unknown to me, yet that I don't have to travel halfway around the globe to discover. I'd also really like to feel safe again, and at home again, and in my own space again. Shacking up with mom is great and all, and has allowed me to save money for travel and save in general. In fact, staying here has been quite enjoyable. I've had a chance to spend time with my mom in a way that most people my age never get to experience. We've spent some real quality time day in day out. On top of that, I give her props for putting up with my messy room.
I saw the tall Dutchman last night. He was very cool. I think he knows that I'm going off to have fun, and that I'll most likely be having fun with other men, so he didn't even attempt to ask me to be exclusive. He surprises me by being very cool every time I see him. I really enjoy spending time with him, and I wish I could have met him earlier or later, just not right before I leave, which leaves me feeling a bit confused.
There was a crazy winter storm last night, so the water level in the creek has risen considerably. It's as if the day that I leave the current also picks up. Unless I specifically make time today, I won't get to see the salmon running this year. Out back, the water is a muddy brown, so I'm not sure if I would even be able to see them clearly.
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