Wednesday, March 28, 2007
I've been feeling lately that I am at a crossroads. I feel like everything is about to radically change, and I am on the threshold of such change. However, I feel terribly afraid of choosing to go this way or that, partly for fear that it may be an unfortunate decision, partly because there are so many options, partly because there is no end in sight. I was discussing this issue with my friend Chidi last night, a brilliant filmmaker with whom I attended grad school. I think it's a phenomenon with our age group in America. Everyone is wanting to make some changes, whether it's settling down and having kids, or quitting your job and starting a company, or breaking up with your partner and leaving town. It's like we've arrived at a state of self-awareness about our selves and realize what we have in life right now is not who we are. Which goes back to the dance film that I'm working on with Jessica. How am I not myself? And if I do pass through these crossroads and embark on a new adventure, will I still be me, or will I become someone new? I feel stuck! I feel like I can't make a decision for fear of the unknown. But at the same time, I can't continue as I've been continuing this past year. Things need to change... and fast!