Monday, April 09, 2007

neutral space

My family origins are Swiss and so it would seem logical that the notion of neutral space would appeal to me. So Panama would serve as a neutral space for me and Alexei should his visa be approved. I imagine that we could have a lot of fun there together before he comes here or we go somewhere else when we would have to get settled and start dealing with all the serious stuff! When it comes down to it, I am visiting him in my country's enemy nation, and if it were possible for him to come here, he would be visiting me in his country's enemy nation. So I can only imagine a time when we were somewhere in the middle, where the government really wouldn't care at all which country we were from! I can only imagine a time when we could galavant around the rain forests and take long walks along empty beaches, simply experience a romantic and worry free time together, just experience life and each other before we would have to file paperwork with the INS and plan weddings and I could use my bank card and so on and so forth. We deserve a neutral space!

In fact everyone does. I had brunch with my friend Lynn this weekend. She has been living for the past 6 months or so with her boyfriend in a rented apartment, even though he had a place and she had a place that they could have moved into. However, they wanted to move into a neutral space--a place that was neither his nor hers, but THEIRS--the first time they lived together. I think it's a great idea because then she wouldn't feel like he was changing her space or identity by moving into her space with his stuff, or that she was changing his space or identity by moving into his space with her stuff. This way, they are able to experience a brand new space together.

I think when I have my house with my significant other, I will create a space within the household that is a neutral space, like a chill out room. It will be a place that is yin-yang balanced, where people go to be themselves and settle down, to find peace and clarity in the midst of all the madness life brings.

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