i miss him

I miss Alexei. I miss holding his hand. I miss playing with the ringlets in his hair, and watching them spring back into place when I release them. I miss it when he has bed-head. I miss it when he kisses me not just once but a hundred times. I miss it when he grabs my butt whenever we walk up a staircase. I miss that he brings me a demitasse of espresso in bed every morning. I miss how proud he is of his library, which consists of about a dozen books, if that. I miss when he tries to recite The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe. I miss the way he pulls his shirt halfway up his chest when it gets hot. I miss playing 20 questions with him. I miss having cervezitas with him on the Malecon at sunset. I miss spooning. I miss that he loves the way my armpit smells. I miss that he doesn't snore. I miss taking a siesta with him in the afternoon. I miss reaching across the bed and grabbing him in the morning. I miss his awkwardness when he leads me on the dance floor. I miss the way he watches me when I dance for him. I miss the way we catch each other's eye when we're at a party but across the room from each other, reminding each other that we are still together. I miss his pleasant smile when he looks at me adoringly. I miss his missing tooth I can see only when he laughs (the tooth he lost when he drank so much rum that he couldn't walk straight and fell onto a curb, woke up later missing a tooth). I miss his taste in music. I miss it when he says, "Wow!" every time he sees me naked. I miss it when he looks so satiated when he sits down for a meal. I miss when he calls me mi amor, which is often. I miss the way he stops when he sees a stray cat in the street and scratches behind its ear. I miss it when he does the same with stray dogs. I miss cooking with him. I miss hanging our laundry out to dry in the sun on his patio. I miss watching him lift weights in his makeshift gym on the patio. I miss the biceps he's forming. I miss his two tattoos. I miss his slender waist and little bottom. I miss it when he's so tired he falls asleep on my shoulder. I miss hearing him tell me he loves me. I miss his touches. I miss kissing him. I miss holding him.