Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Settle for your amazing, powerful self!

A couple friends have stumbled upon this book for women and settling on what is referred to as Mr. Good Enough. This makes me frustrated.

Men have the same problems when seeking a mate. Men are picky. They want her to look like a model, be younger than him, not be too aggressive. They sometimes think they can push her around or win her over with charm. And then they want her to let them be slobs or chums or whatever. They also want to make more money than she does, and are usually not ok if she has more success in her career than he does.

BUT, are there self-help books on the market for men to debunk their dating myths? No. There aren't. This whole market is a scam to make money off of women's insecurities.

AND what's more is that the title of this book is assuming that men are just good enough, and that an amazing, wonderful, cool person that inspires you isn't out there. That you should settle. Why settle? (This reminds me of the 30 Rock episode when Liz Lemon almost settles for Wesley Snipes, the annoying insurance salesman, when all of a sudden Matt Damon the pilot strolls into her life.)

If inspiration is what you seek, ask and you shall receive. (I'm going back to the Trifecta here.) Or as Ghandi put it, Be the Change.

We are amazing women. We are amazing human beings. Powerful. We have achieved so much, faced many obstacles with health, money, love and family. We are doing nothing wrong. We have done everything right!

Be yourself, and nothing else. Your beautiful, multifaceted and profound self!

And that goes for men as well as women! In a relationship or out!


Dave Feucht said...

I totally agree - these kinds of "guides" for who you should or shouldn't marry are completely based on categorical assumptions.

It's like saying "oh, you like bikes, and you like bikes, so you're compatible."

But the simple fact is that human relationships aren't based on categories. They are based on hardship, perseverance, and a number of things we don't really understand, but just seem to either happen or not depending on the two people involved in the relationship.

I don't want a relationship with the person who is gorgeous, sweet, likes sports, and is great in bed - I want a relationship with the person I love (who by the way, meets all of those above qualifications more and more the deeper I love her - except liking sports, which doesn't matter because I'm not too into sports anyway).

You can't determine who you're going to love based on categories. I would say, don't settle for the guy who has a good job, loves kids, is extremely handsome, helps equally with the housework, and has a great sense of humor. He's a weasel compared to the guy who honestly loves you.

Kristin Tieche said...

That's what I'm talking about!

Now, a guy who honestly loves me? Still elusive...

Dave Feucht said...

I know, guys can be kind of wretched that way. I've never really had a lasting, deep relationship with a guy except for my dad, honestly. They don't only have commitment issues with women, it seems :)