what do I do now?

I've been home for about a day and a half. Went on a bike ride yesterday between rainfalls. I saw a dead squirrel in the road and I felt sorry for it. He was so cute. By the time I rode back, the squirrel had been run over a few more times and barely resembled a squirrel anymore.

The word for squirrel in French is "ecureuil." Gabriela finds it hard to pronounce. I think it's one of the more beautiful words in French. I also like "grenouille" (meaning frog). Another all time favorite is "pamplemousse" (so much nicer than grapefruit, which has nothing at all to do with grapes).

So now that I'm home, I feel like I have never left. I'm hanging out in my pyjamas until noon. I am surfing the net and listening to KCRW. My room is a mess. I haven't brushed my teeth yet. I guess it's logical that I'd need a couple days to unwind, but I feel that after my excellent adventure, I should have somehow changed, and should not fall back in the same old routine. Somehow I should have new insight and clarity and change everything. Or maybe I'll continue to do the same things and simply see things differently.

When I was out on my bike ride yesterday, the afternoon sun filtered through the redwoods and hit them in a way that made me wish I had my camera on me. When I'm in West Marin, I feel like I'm on vacation every day. I was imagining if I was in the hills in Panama on horseback, and if this landscape was what my guide was showing me. I would have been very impressed, and felt the same pangs of wanting my own 3 acres.

I have traveled a lot in my years. And consistently, ever since I was young, I have maintained the opinion that San Francisco and Marin are great places to return to, great places to call home.