heureusement, je suis à Paris

My dad, on the other hand, is still in Javea. Here is his witty account (my account of Paris still to come... having way too much fun):

In the beginning God created heaven and earth, you know, on the seventh day he rested. Not right away mind you. He was told his room wouldn't be ready until 3:00. To kill time, he created the wildebeast, Newark, New Jersey and a little sliver of land he called Javea. Being tired, and who wouldn't be creating a heaven AND an earth in six days, he accidently plopped this sliver in Spain, instead of England. This may explain that in all of Spain, in Javea, English is the primary language, followed by German and then Spanish.

Javea, pronounced Ha-ve-ah, can be spelled Xabia, pronounced Ha-ve-ah, or Xavia, pronounced Ha-ve-ah. No matter how it´s spelled, it's all prounced the same, which makes getting around easy.

Javea is extraordinarily beautiful. Words cannot describe it. No photo can capture it. That's why there are no postcards for Javea, Xabia or Xavia, or whatever you want to call it. I take that back there is one taken at sunset of the speedbump in front of the Humpty Dumpty.

I commented to Kristin that most of the people in Javea were fat Brits and Germans. That was in jest. In reality, most of the men here look like Mr. Bean and most of the women look like John Candy. Although that is a not hard and fast rule and their roles have been known to switch.

Javea is a culinary wonderland. One can find food from all over the world here. There´s Japanese, Chinese, Indian, French, Italian, you name it, you'll find it here. And usually you´ll find it all under one roof. That may explain why Chez Angel, a French brasserie, offers a local petrale (Spanish) in a marinara sauce (Italian) over a bed of basamati rice (Indian).

The architecture here is Mediterranean Classic, if the word "classic" can ever be applied to a condominum. There are sites to see (the largest crematorium in Spain) and things to do (setting up your lawn chair and watching the "newlies" hit that speed bump in front of the Humpty Dumpty, for one). But most of the time Javeans can be seen pursuing their favorite pastime- boredom. Wherein most countries it takes time to adjust to the lifestyle, in Javea you can get bored quickly. Hell, almost immediately. You can feel it the minute you walk into town. Laugh all you want, but in a town like Paris or Barcelona, it takes tome to adjust. NOT IN JAVEA! You are bored the minute you get off the bus.

I believe it was Montoya, or was it Montolla, who offered this, "If you have a friend who says they want to go someplace and just do nothing. No sightseeing. No going here, going there. They just want to kick back and do nothing. You can tell them, "Have I got the place for you.""