Wednesday, December 31, 2008

the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning

Why as a culture do we see things as having a beginning and an end?

The end of a year. The beginning of a new year. It’s only the Gregorian calendar that tells us that this is the end. We get a new number, but nothing has substantially changed. The weather is the same as yesterday, for instance. Remember that the Southern Hemisphere just celebrated summer solstice.

Into 2009, we might still have a lingering cold, the same crush or heartache, the same boring job. We might make new year's resolutions that we never seem to fulfill, dreams that never materialize and just roll over into the next year.

The beginning of the day, the end of the day. The beginning of the night, the end of the night. Where does one end and the other really begin? Last year on New Year's Eve I went to Ocean Beach to watch an incredible sunset. This year it looks like the horizon will be enshrouded in pea soup fog. Night will fall on us like a soft grey cloak over a woman's shoulders. We'll all go out and drink champagne, count down from ten, dance until we drop, and eventually go to sleep.

When we wake up, it will be One/One. 365 days will lay before us like a smorgasbord, or a blank canvas.

We begin and end relationships, and yet there are people that I feel like I’ve broken up with many times over who somehow keep returning, and whose role in my life takes a brand new direction. An end becomes a beginning. Or maybe our hearts never really let go in the first place. A relationship begins, yes, but when does it really end? We always learn something from it that we carry through life.

There are beginnings and ends to songs, even though you might keep on humming a tune for days, the lyrics spinning in your head like a ballerina.

Or what about your dreams? I've had dreams as a child that still haunt me today, even though they occurred only for a brief few minutes in the middle of a deep sleep decades ago.

A beginning and end of a trip you take, either one to a foreign land or one that you take in your mind… when it’s long been over, you still revisit the images you saw, the people you encountered, the surge of emotions you felt that made you feel alive.

Or the beginning of a life. The birth of a baby , or the death of a grandparent, or parent, or sibling. Who is to say that when this life ends another one doesn’t begin simultaneously?

The end of an era. The beginning of an era. We really can’t say what direction we’re headed politically, or if any historic life-changing events are about to occur that will continue to mark this dark period of history, or, hopefully, enlighten us.

The end of summer leads to the beginning of fall to the beginning of winter to the beginning of spring. Even in the dead of winter when the branches are mostly bare, we still witness the buds of cherry blossoms forming on trees.

If I could paint a picture with my words, I would leave you with the image of a circle. Or better yet, a million beginnings of new circles.

Monday, December 22, 2008

why I call myself an ex-Catholic

Because I was baptized and confirmed a Catholic, some people still consider me one, but back in 1989, when I read a news similar to this, I decided I would renounce my religion and excommunicate myself. I've said I would never marry in the Catholic Church and I would never baptize or raise my children Catholic. Having broken up with my prior faith many years ago, I wonder now if I should officially divorce myself as an act of civil disobedience.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


This guy I met recently called me last night and said, "I'm lost! I don't know where I am! Can you come save me?"

I believe I've heard that line before. A few times.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Hot Holidays!

Lilia and I attended a holiday party at 440 Brannan design studio, where you get to try on clothes while drinking cocktails and get your pic taken with Santa. Because this wasn't just any old Santa, we posed for several. I also wouldn't have minded taking him into the dressing room.

Monday, December 08, 2008

a happy economy

I'm no economist, but the Gross National Happiness model created in 1972 by the Bhutan government seems like a welcome alternative to our country's approach.

"...the former king shifted focus of development from productivity to human well-being in four areas: sustainable economic development, preservation and promotion of cultural values, conservation of the environment, and good governance."

Is this merely a utopian fantasy, or could an economy built on happiness really exist and endure?

Friday, December 05, 2008

is it all about timing?

There was a Sex and the City episode where Carrie posed this question. Miranda felt that indeed it was.

Sometimes when I read news like this, I have to agree with Miranda.

it all comes down to these three things

The Trifecta. It seems to be more and more like searching for the Holy Grail to me.